A parody of “Sixteen Going On Seventeen” from The Sound of Music.
Music by Richard Rodgers. Lyrics by Matt Butts and Oscar Hammerstein II.
One of my favorite things to parody is popular songs and Broadway show tunes. This piece came to me while I was considering a song with which to audition for the Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus. Once the original idea had come to me, the lyrics practically wrote themselves.
You wait, little girl
on your MySpace page
for older men to log on
Your life, little girl
is an endless rage
you sit around and ’blog on… and ’blog on …
You are thirteen going on fourteen
Baby, I’m going to jail
Because I trusted
you now I’m busted
All for a piece of tail!You are thirteen going on fourteen
We just met up online
You didn’t know me,
but said you’d show me
yours if I showed you mineYou said you wanted to hook up
and do wild things with me
But waiting in your living room
was Dateline N-B-C!I’m in trouble! How did this happen?
What am I going to do—oo?
You are thirteen going on fourteen
Be—e afra—aid of you!You are thirteen going on fourteen
That’s what you said in chat
I took a chance at teenage romance
And now this is where I’m at…In this squad car, wearing these handcuffs
On national T-V
Wanted a piece, but now the police
are reading my rights to me.Totally up the creek am I
I just screwed up my life
Totally terrified am I
What will I tell my wife?I’m in deep now! I need a lawyer
To tell me what to do—oo
I am thirty-nine, going on forty
I—I am re—eally screwed!
New lyrics © 2006 by Matt Butts. “Sixteen Going On Seventeenteen” from The Sound of Music © 1959 by Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II. First performed at Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus Retreat, October 2006.
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